i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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