we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
