She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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