I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can't turn off my feet"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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