i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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