Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
