Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
