i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
