I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
