these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
