I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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