Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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