I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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