I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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