porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
