So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So vagazzling was a success
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize