i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
