you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A+ Viking dick
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize