A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
