We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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