I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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