Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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