I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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