I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
