if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize