I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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