I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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