also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
