I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize