You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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