So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
