I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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