the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
