Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
