i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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