I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
