why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
