How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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