all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
