I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
