"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
