im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
