You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
