gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
