So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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