I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
