And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
