you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
3pm strippers are depressing
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize