I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
