the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize