Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
