i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
