how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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