Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
