thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
