I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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