So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
