OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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