I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
